When It's Family... I Remember Marriage Meant Forever

My childhood memories include family day-trips, holiday gatherings and Sunday barbecues. I can remember playing kickball in the neighborhood, riding bikes with friends, and watching 'Little House on the Prairie' with my sister. Most importantly, I recall most of my friends having parents who were married. Divorce...Separated...these words were said in a whisper & not very often. What happened?

That question got me thinking a few years ago. So, I decided to find out why. Why do so many people get divorced today? Why do so many people decide to live together without being married? Why has saying 'it's over' become so easy to say?

I thought about interviewing divorced couples and couples living together. I quickly realized that was the wrong direction. I remembered my father's advice- 'If you want to learn how to do something right, watch an expert.'  What qualifies a couple to be an expert at marriage. I decided, it was those who are still happily married after a reasonable amount of time as a married couple.

I don't remember exactly how I decided on the number of years, but I selected thirty. I would interview couples who have been married for thirty years or more. My questions were simple- Why do you think you are still married? Why do you think couples today don't stay married? What advice would you give newlyweds today?

Their responses were honest, heartfelt and memorable. What do I remember most from the interviews? The understanding that marriage is a job for a life-time. It takes constant nurturing, commitment and faith. That's a huge undertaken in a society that prides itself in fast, easy and replaceable.

After completing the book, I've had many interviewers ask if I think staying married for a life-time is realistic. My answer is yes....although I haven't tried it yet.

What do you think?